Caring for a loved one can be one of life's most rewarding experiences, but it often comes with overwhelming responsibilities.
According to research, 72 percent of primary caregivers provide care without any outside help, while 31 percent admit they'd like more assistance. [National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. (2015). Caregiving in the U.S.]
If you're feeling stretched thin as a family caregiver, learning to ask for and accept help isn't just beneficial—it's essential for both you and your loved one.
Here are a few practical strategies to effectively ask for and accept assistance:​
Recognize the Importance of Asking for Help
Acknowledging that caregiving is a shared responsibility is crucial. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a step toward sustainable caregiving.
Remember that sharing caregiving responsibilities allows you to:
- Maintain a healthier relationship with your loved one
- Preserve your own physical and emotional wellbeing
- Reduce feelings of resentment and isolation
- Provide better quality care overall
Identify Specific Needs
Before approaching others, clearly outline the areas where you need assistance. This could range from daily tasks like meal preparation and transportation to respite care. Creating a detailed list helps in communicating your needs effectively.
For example:
- Meal preparation or grocery shopping
- Transportation to medical appointments
- House cleaning or yard maintenance
- Medication pickup or organization
- Brief companionship visits to give you a break
Be Specific in Your Requests
General appeals for help can be overwhelming or unclear to potential helpers. Instead of saying, "Could you help out sometime?" try: "Would you be able to stay with Mom next Thursday from 2-4 pm so I can attend my doctor's appointment?"
Specific requests are easier for others to respond to and fulfill.
Match Tasks to Individual Strengths & Respect Limitations
Recognize that not everyone is comfortable with personal care tasks, but most people can help in some way.
Consider each person's skills and comfort level when delegating responsibilities. Your brother might excel at handling medical paperwork, while your neighbor might be happy to mow the lawn or bring over a meal.
Assign roles that align with their strengths to encourage participation. ​
Communicate Openly with Family Members
Engage in honest discussions with siblings and relatives about the caregiving responsibilities. Share the emotional and physical demands you're experiencing and express the need for support.
Understanding each other's perspectives can lead to more cooperative caregiving arrangements. ​
Leverage Technology for Coordination
Utilize caregiving apps like Caring Village to organize and delegate tasks among family and friends. This will allow you to create a list needs, assign responsibilities, and keep everyone informed, streamlining communication and reducing misunderstandings. ​
Build a Support Network
Connect with caregiver support groups, either locally or online. Sharing experiences with others in similar situations provides emotional support and practical advice.
Seek Professional Assistance When Necessary
If family support is limited, consider hiring professional caregivers or utilizing community resources. Services like in-home care, meal delivery, or adult day programs can alleviate the burden. Consulting a geriatric care manager can also help coordinate these services. ​
Accept Offers of Help Graciously
When someone offers assistance, accept it with appreciation. People may hesitate to help if they feel their efforts are unrecognized. Acknowledging their support fosters goodwill and encourages continued assistance.​ It may even help the other person feel better because they are providing help to you and the person you are caring for.
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is essential to provide effective care for others. As a caregiver, it’s extremely important to monitor your stress level and to be mindful of your own health and well-being.
Accepting help may give you the time you need to rest and recharge so you can come back to the task of caregiving with a fresh mindset and the energy you need to care for your loved one.
Remember, it's important to recognize that seeking and accepting help benefits both the caregiver and the care recipient.
By clearly identifying needs, communicating effectively, and utilizing available resources, caregivers can create a sustainable support system that enhances the well-being of all involved.
